Thursday, April 30, 2009

Pigs might fly

With all this talk about 'Swine Flu' I thought it only right to share with you a remedy that has just been released in the UK.

They are currently working on an OINKMENT which you can apply too. If you do however notice any symptoms please call a HAMBULANCE immediately.
Swine flu symptoms are stuttering like p-p-p-p-p-porky p-p-p-p-ig. My best friend says he has swine flu, but I think he's telling PORKIES.

Apparently please do not contact the hospitals for advice, there is a problem with the phonelines and all you will get is CRACKLING

There are reports from the religious sectors saying: The APORKALYPSE is finally here!

My advice: I say STY put and don't travel.

Why is it that the first thing we try to do after killing a pig is to cure it?

In more sensational news: who says pigs cant fly? I heard a pig flu in Mexico recently.
In other news: Disney HQ bans the “Three Little Pigs” movie as a precaution

In recent years we have experienced 'Mad cow disease', Salmonella and Bird flu - makes you wonder what's next, answers on a postcard.

*disclaimer : this is a joke please do NOT attempt to purchase this item or others like it.

Now that's magic!

Just for giggles, I need a laugh.
I know I shouldn't laugh at a fellow magician but this is classic!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Hi ho Smallville away

When I was a child I would watch Zorro, it was corny but it was entertaining. It always ended with a cliff hanger - Zorro was just about to die when the end of the show came.
When the following week came around I would rush to see how he survived, only to see that some kind of Twilight Zone had intervened and now he was two minutes prior to his death and able to escape with ease. BAH!

I am a big fan of Smallville and really looked at it with some hope. I liked the corny references to the superman films and Clarks life and even spotting the 'in' jokes. The first season was weak, entertaining but weak almost everyweek so Meteor infected super badguy. However I could see promise the lead characters playing Clark Kent and Lex Luthor were strong.

It did indeed improve with time and I really got into some of the episodes; which they could have develoed further - Justice League. Sadly though they opted for simplier stories and too many Kryptonite infected freaks for my liking.
As time went by the acting became better and the budget improved and they kept teasing us as Clark's powers came into being. Everyone is still waiting to see him fly. Yes, he has, but not really. As Clark had seen his cousin fly and other Kryptonians he would be tempted to at least try... ...surely!

Anyway my point was not about flying but about the fact that everyweek it leaves you thinking that the next episode is the 'ONE'. The big one where things really happen, flying, revealed idenetities or the big match between good and evil. Sadly everyweek just like with Zorro, they seem to forget where they left off and a new plot line has developed.

To be honest since the writers of season 1-7 left the following season 8 is extremely weak!
To top it all off Lex Luthor quit during the end of season 7, so no more Lex even though they keep refering to Lex in season 8.

I for one am looking forward to this season coming to an end; which it is with Clark and Doomsday facing off - and about time too!

Friday, April 24, 2009

App App Hurrah

Apple have just hit 1,000,000,000 downloads for their App store!!! Most of the products they have available are free or very cheap and extremely useful, if you have an iTouch or iPhone I suggest you go see what they have.

Although they have made a few mistakes (shaking baby app?!?!, personally I think the person who made this is sick and at fault not Apple) but on the whole they are doing very well indeed.

I must say that Apple has come a really long way from it's old days. I think now almost every household has some apple product: iPod, iPhone, iTouch or a Mac (if not a varient on them). Apple stores are opening all over the globe, still none in Madrid as yet though :(

I would like the see the Apple TV moved forwarded more and have more availability of programs, but apart from that I'm more than happy with my Apple gadgets.
Apple have shown a profit where most companies this year suffered and Apple are still leading the way in technology and environmental awareness - Hurrah for them!

There has been no news on Steve Job's health and when he is likely to return to the helm.

Monday, April 20, 2009

The big 3 ohhh!

As another year passes by and another birthday looms around the corner I'm reminded yet again that I'm getting old! If you know me you will know I have issues with aging.
I have been 28 for quite some time now (several years in fact), but its now obvious I'm not 28, so 30 is the new 28!!

So how is old age treating me, well I have several health issues I need to see a Doctor to get sorted (I don't like Doctors), I'm getting a beer belly (need to exercise, I know), I'm grey (being that since I was 15, keep shaving head to hide it), my body aches more now than it ever has (again exercise), I have mental health issues (baggage that still haunts me and I cannot cut it free) but nothing that serious, I guess.

I am the kind of person who has all the answers for everyone else and will be there to help anyone in anyway I can, but I have no answers for myself and hardly ever ask for help. Why? Well, I have been looking out for myself and others all my life, really its true.

As a child my family life was abusive and disruptive and I became 'the man of the house' at around 7/8 years of age, having to look after myself my brother (punch) and mother. My life was VERY unstable and afforded me little comfort by making friends, as we would continually move from place to place.
I was born in Stoke on Trent but I have lived almost all over the middle of England; from Manchester to London. I never really had what you would call a 'childhood', sure I played games with other kids and had a few friends but it was always taken away just when it got comfortable, so I learnt to build defences and hardly ever really gotten close to anyone to make friends - at least something I couldn't walk away from at a moments notice.

I find it hard to trust people or really open up and share my inner thoughts, this has led to problems of it's own of course. Also I still have unresolved issues personal ones and emotional ones, and I don't think they will ever be sorted.

Several years ago I sat down and started to write a book about my life - this was before all these horror stories of peoples childhoods had came out. I had done lots of work but struggled with the time line, it's hard to remember exactly when things happened when you were a child, anyway it was all saved on my computer. I went to work and when I was gone the water tank burst and blew up my computer and I lost all the data. That was the end of that, at least it was cathatic I guessed.
Then around 6 months later whilst I was shopping in Tesco I picked up a book A CHILD CALLED IT; I had never heard of it before, it just stood out for some reason.
Anyway when I read it I was horrified to see it was my story; well very nearly! There of course were differences but it was SO similar it was frightening. I read the second and third book which bared no similarity to my life at all, but it was good to know that Dave turned well in the end; there was hope for me yet.

I wonder will China actually contact me this birthday, I haven't herad from her and I miss her SO much and want to say so much to her, but I cant.
Just know you are always in my thoughts Chinagirl.

I feel that I have not made the impact on the world I was wanting to and I've not accomplished all I wanted; yet the strange thing is, I don't know what it is I want to accomplish?!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Are you ready for 2012?

According to MANY religious groups and even Nostradamus, 2012 is the end of the world as we know it! Consider what is happening to the world currently, economy, environment and war.

If you look at the past, MANY cultures looked to the stars for their answers, in most big cities we cannot even see the stars; which means we may not see what is right in front of us.
Apparently the Mayans, the Bible and even Nostradamus left us messages to help prepare us for the forthcoming disasters, but looking at how we struggle with floods and volcanoes we are not at one with the earth.

Many civilizations have been wiped from this earth are we about to become part of history too??

How does the government prepare us for disaster? They don't, Personally, I think Hollywood does; they play out the possible scenarios. There are MANY types of disaster movies, tempting fate I think not, mentally preparing you for what may come, more likely.
as if just to prove my point click HERE

December 21st 2012 is reported to be the beginning of the end.... ....of what is yet to be seen, lets hope for all our sakes its the end of man's destructive nature and the beginning of peace.

Although I suggest you put your affair in order, just in case!

Friday, April 17, 2009

The verdict is in....

...well not quite its not the final decision, just the beginning of the end.

For the full story on the Piratebay verdict click HERE

I for one stand by my view that the music and film industry are greedy money grabbers, who care about no one but themselves and their profits!

Long live freedom of information and choice.

Should they REALLY want to tackle pirates then stop THIS!

Masters strike back

This week I had the same Masters from the first week I did in Salamanca; they were a wild bunch then and luckily there was no big city to distract them this time.
There was a lot of work to be done though: 3 missing anglos, rewriting scripts, being an Anglo, and of course dealing with all those issues that arise over the course of the week as well as doing my own job.

The weather was.... ....changeable at best! One day sun, then wind, then rain and always the threat of snow!

As this was the masters 3rd Vaughan Town I had to set them harder challenges. I tackled this through new theatre pieces, new activities and turning their presentations into debates, there was little time for them to relax.

Spanish was still being spoken during the week! This is SO frustrating for many reasons, mainly because their command of English is good enough that they have no real excuse to use Spanish and also they know the drill. Really after all this time you would think they wouldn't even consider doing it. (personally if I had only paid 1 euro, I would want my monies worth and stick to English!)

The first nights performances went down very well, and I worked hard to avoid anyone seeing anything they may have seen before (not an easy task). I was VERY lucky to have on the program Lane (wonderful name, and person) who was amazing at playing the violin which she kindly gave a demonstration of during the nights session.
Tuesdays we did Karaoke and left quemada alone (better!).
Wednesdays performance the big one was Carlos playing Dracula and a howling banshee we didn't expect ;)

The party of course was the party and I changed the music for a more up-to-date mix of music as the crowd were a younger group in general and really wanted to let their hair down (boy, we use so many idioms!!)

As usual the photos can be found by clicking the picture below
Enjoy and I'm sure I will see some of you again for your last Vaughan Town in July; better luck next time boys ;)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

What a load of smeg!

Well, after eagerly awaiting the new episodes of Red Dwarf I for one can tell you it was smegging awful!!!

The writers were better leaving well alone! The plot thin at best - The idea of a blade runner based episode would have being cool, but showing up in Coronation street; oh please!!!

Sorry to say the last series was weak, but this has sealed the fate of dwarf for ever.

Go back and rewatch what made Red Dwarf what it was, if you need reminding check this out.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Sit up and take notice

The Noticer Project is a worldwide movement to "notice" the five most influential people in your life!

More details are available on their WEBSITE
There is also a Facebook page dedicated tot he project too; check HERE

As for my 5; I need some time to think - watch this space!

So perhaps its time we ALL started to think about who made us the way we are and who had the biggest influences on ours lives, share it, then of course, why not let them know personally!


Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Back to Burgos

To be honest I was still a little apprehensive about going back to Burgos; but part of me knew at least half of the issues should now have been address and the week should be easier.

I made my own way to the venue and saw when I arrived that things had indeed improved (at least at first glance). The meeting room was much more appropriate for our needs and we stayed in one room all week, rather than being moved around which helped.

The food was no longer such an issue; not saying it was perfect but far from a problem.

As for the level of the group, the difference in levels on this program was very apparent, from very low to quite high, which made for a difficult time for the lower levels and thinking what activities they would all benefit from.

The good thing is everybody's objective is different and everyone should have left with some improvement - the Anglo's were very varied and intellectual: so lots to offer.

Sadly, the hotel had around 150 guests for a wedding anniversary - so that had a slight affect on week. Mainly in the morning at breakfast, the staff didn't seem to consider the table layouts even after being advised :(

As for sketches, lots of variety and input from the Anglo's on that front so that was nice. Anything from pottery making to book crossing - which I mentioned some time back HERE.
That was my last program in Burgos and as programs go I hope my last, it simply doesn't suit the needs of the program
(in my opinion): not that the hotel isn't nice or the group was bad far from it.

The photos of our exploits are below
Vaughan Town - Burgos - Program 147

Saturday, April 04, 2009

The Media

The media are excellent at manipulation: even better than us magicians, really!
The first time Jade Goody appeared to the national public was on the UK reality TV Big Brother show in 2002. Now not meaning to speak ill of the dead but she was as thick as too short planks.

The media relished in her stupidity and ignorance and suddenly the word "minger" became a national word as she once used it saying "I'm not a minger". She actually went on to win BB; how is beyond me, but she did.

She has an entry in Wikipedia, her own fragrance, appeared on many TV shows and released several books! So it seems ANYONE can do it. What was the secret to her success? I really don't know; perhaps it was Max Clifford who was the mastermind behind her, or maybe, just maybe she wasn't as dumb as they all thought she was!?

Sadly, Jade had cervical cancer and has now died (March 22, 2009); I'm sorry to say.
But yet again the media are frenzied, rather than letting people have a dignified ending they are soaking up every last drop they can from when the story broke to the bitter end. (I think they think as they created her, she's their property, to make and break)

The British media are sick individuals who prey on the weak and the innocent - the fact Jade's son wrote her a goodbye card is NOT front page material. Considering the atrocities that happen across the globe, the media SHOULD be too busy to focus on Jade.

She was not the first or last, to get and die from cancer - at least highlight the plight of others who live with this killer, give them the chance to tell their stories too.
One such individual is ALRIGHT TIT show her your support and check out her most excellent blog.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Worrying trend

I know that in the world we produce more food than we need, as a consequence we waste even more. I recall watching a documentary about someone living on the streets and what he was able to get from rubbish bins as the food had passed its sell by date.

Rather than disposing of this food to the trash can it not be sent to shelters - if the food is bad of course not, but if its packaged and perfectly fine but its sell-by is a day over surely its better that someone at least makes use of it, and at the very least cooks it properly to ensure its safe to eat, rather than throwing it away.

But recently there has been more and more people rather than going into the shops to buy food are going to the back of the stores and taking it from the bins (perhaps because of the crisis). Not meaning to stereotype but this used to be the homeless and gypsies, now even more people are doing it.

A car pulls up outside Carrefour and a family gets out, the child goes inside the bins and takes out what food they can. Later a little old lady is seen doing them thing. On the news it shown that some pensioners are no longer buying their vegetables fresh, but waiting for them to be discarded with the trash then sifting through the rubbish for the veg!

I think something is VERY wrong if we are choosing or having to do this.
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